White Picket Fences

This morning not entering cobweb lined gates.

I tell you my best friend since grade school,

is getting married soon.


                                 Right then your eyes swayed from mine back into your own.


            As if telling me that the news hurt you;

            thinking that maybe it should,

            have been us making that commitment.


Well I did.


                             Yet we spend so much time on,

                             who messed what up.

                             That we fail,

                              to nurture the good parts.


We are not bad seeds,

            we are not property,

                        we forget to plant ourselves in new fields.

                                    This always happens,          

                                                with me,


From birth,

everything dies,

failure to thrive,

I’m missing pieces because,


                                    all that was left,

                        I gave and you say I’ve,

            never given anything.


                                                Clearly it is me.






(a terza rima) – napowrimo 2014 day 15


By Kelley Stephens


Today I watched a woman fall and crash hard into the dirt
And it’s almost been thirty days since I’ve heard from you
She came through the atmosphere; when she hit I couldn’t control my hurt

I can no longer feel my language; it seems it has lost it’s value
Her once lengthy spine, full face and strength have shrunken and atrophied
I picture me there, mouth supple and pink; your eyes still the same shade of blue

The woman who fell to earth was at peace with her ensuing death and being buried
There wasn’t anything that could stop me so in a foreign sound I begged and I cried
When she lost all of her hope, when she was alone he heard her need

My heart raged and my eyes burned and at that moment I wish she’d died
I know its a horrible thing to say but I couldn’t help but think of you; how I don’t want to die alone
She doesn’t realize it’s only his ghost she still screams to, a love that cannot be revived

I’d beg but fear it’s been too long for you to want me back home, hypocritical I know



Hold On I’m Coming Home (PAD 16-poem follows video)


Hold On I’m Coming Home
(day 16 PAD Challenge)

by Kelley Stephens

A single tear shattered
there is smoke in a graveyard once more
the next year vision
driving in a black German car
my head is salted and I am scared
I wont survive so preserve this moment
oh please don’t go
take the brilliant bits of your star
take winter, I can’t be in freezing temperatures
I will shatter; stand with my insides
gushing onto new soil
while life was intensely hazy, I never thought
things can become so clear
I held on tight and now all I do is cry
maybe I should have bent instead
no backseat, peddle to the floor
and you look so beautiful
laying in the glow of 51 billboard signs

Silence never broke and I shattered
the windshield gave up
let the best parts of me go
this time G-d had follow through
walked me across the hall in slices
watched all of the monitors in ICU
tangled in beautiful chords
prayed silently curled up beside you
who will protect me from monsters now

Darling, I wish you knew how much I love you
I’m telling you now with the slivers of my soul
shooting in the dark when there’s a hush
trying to get the rush of a wanted voice
until then, I’ll watch out; listen to your hold music-
echoes of never crying Sundays spent by your side-
will be what saves my soul-  without my dad
without you here, focus on the whole,
rely on the undefined I need you now
cause I shiver mornings I had a full life-
mercy closed it’s eyes, burden held me tight
sorry you couldn’t see me before this day
but I couldn’t go with you here so,
no more threat, tonight a promise
absolute commitment is all yours
I miss you
didn’t you know that
tell me it’s green and I can go now

He never drove drunk

-(I’m on my way) an (E)legy

Day 14 Prompts and My Solution **NSFW (race,religion,sex,drugs,the whole package)

The prompt for NaPoWriMo day 14 was 20 questions and the prompt for PAD Challenge was “if I were____”  As you can probably tell I wasn’t really in the right mood to participate fully and plus I really didn’t know what direction to go with the prompts either…So, I thought that I would share an awesome Slam Video that I feel fits both of yesterday’s prompts and will be an awesome watch!  This Poem is by Vanessa Hidary (The Hebrew Mamita) and it is called “What If” ***this is probably NSFW due to Vanessa Hidary being a BADASS!!!  Seriously one of my all time favorite videos!.***  Enjoy!


On Playing Games at the Kitchen Table (Saturday night with my parents)

On Playing Games at the Kitchen Table (Saturday night with my parents)

By Kelley Stephens 4/12/14

Double six.
Snake eyes.
I got 5?

Oh! For fuck sake,
that’s a song.


Oh Gin Rummy!
UNO then!
Not UNO either?

I’m sorry, I can’t think.
Been up two days straight.

Feeling sick as hell.
Fuck it I call…
I mean I fold…

This is starting to get pathetic.
And I am getting too old,
to be doing this.