“I have lost all my pride,
and for having no shame,
I really do feel so heavy today.” -Kelley Stephens (Random thought)
Today I allowed myself to laugh. Really genuinely laugh. It was the strangest feeling, so much so that it almost felt wrong in a million ways.
Then, that ridiculous song you like so much ended up being a part of the movie I was watching. As two men fought over the one girl; intended to be funny, of course leave it to me to cry. So, I did and continued all throughout the night.
Yesterday I begged you to listen.
I knew just what was coming.
Last week I begged for something different.
Pseudo comfort or a small commitment perhaps.
Last month I begged for something similar,
to hear me out or to hear you, simply say it.
Last month, I played the waiting game,
And last year the same. Beg and wait.
Two years ago, you were sneaking around.
I begged to be seen and was drowned,
had a break down and broke down again,
we laid down, pinned down and for a while,
I thought we were becoming whole,
coming back home to unwind and settle in.
Two years ago, on this day, we did not speak.
Oh how things change.
And how I hate it.
Today I beg to spill into, one, single,
and not so devastatingly lonely place.
Does it bleed you to give?
– Shameless by Kelley Stephens