There will come a time I will ask you if I smell like death.
My life might have started to resemble ripped stitches.
Sometimes the world slaps me so hard it feels like I’ve been cut.
This is the reason I wear makeup so thick.
I vomit while laying on my back, the flies lay eggs in my mouth.
Maybe I will choke or my questioning of death will come out as a gurgle.
Suppose that’s the only way I can get you to answer.
-Talk To You Soon
by Kelley Stephens
By Kelley Stephens
My belly button comes unraveled,
your arms slide around me outstretched, wet;
I thought I was standing when you coded.
Surely your mind is repairing flat tires,
as I’m enervated, my tears making stains on the ground.
Switching places with me behind patterned blue curtains,
while the sun is so proud of you; basking, you outshined,
the ice buried inside me is born from lost black diamonds.
To think in order to feel warm, I need to wear you,
then your sweat trickles down cool sapped images of time.
Getting ready to leave, putting on your shirt,
Dressing myself, feeling flush as you touch my neck,
I smell your scent and I unquestionably begin to melt.
Laying there dreaming that your touch might,
again melt inside my icy belly, thawing love.
Meet Me At The Park
I search the wind for traces of you.
Hoping you’ll get lost in a breeze.
Under this midnight sky let me feel you.
I fear I have become so vacant and hollow.
Alone never did look good on me.
Always adhering to a strict schedule.
Walking our neighborhood tonight.
Starring at the stars I contemplate a truce.
Because hell is walking along side your ghost.
All alone still hoping that some evening,
I will catch your scent; pick you from the grass,
and wear you in my hair like a hot summer
“I have lost all my pride,
and for having no shame,
I really do feel so heavy today.” -Kelley Stephens (Random thought)
Today I allowed myself to laugh. Really genuinely laugh. It was the strangest feeling, so much so that it almost felt wrong in a million ways.
Then, that ridiculous song you like so much ended up being a part of the movie I was watching. As two men fought over the one girl; intended to be funny, of course leave it to me to cry. So, I did and continued all throughout the night.
Yesterday I begged you to listen.
I knew just what was coming.
Last week I begged for something different.
Pseudo comfort or a small commitment perhaps.
Last month I begged for something similar,
to hear me out or to hear you, simply say it.
Last month, I played the waiting game,
And last year the same. Beg and wait.
Two years ago, you were sneaking around.
I begged to be seen and was drowned,
had a break down and broke down again,
we laid down, pinned down and for a while,
I thought we were becoming whole,
coming back home to unwind and settle in.
Two years ago, on this day, we did not speak.
Oh how things change.
And how I hate it.
Today I beg to spill into, one, single,
and not so devastatingly lonely place.
Does it bleed you to give?
– Shameless by Kelley Stephens
By Kelley Stephens
She is beautiful a recherché catastrophe.
Everyone would turn their heads and howl as she walked by.
She was like a rag doll screaming ‘love me love me’.
And they did,
Watch her as she limps back home
She will live in repetition to survive this way.
Feeling her stomach empty, the people took pieces of her when she wasn’t looking
She’s packing up, stiffening structures and she thinks this will get what’s inside, out.
Her mother is proud of her although she skips the gory bits.
She was reflected light in mirrors crying asking where he went.
This life wasn’t something she found solid enough to cling to.
She wanted to be chased; but good luck getting past all the junk.
Sleeping in the room she plays make-believe in, has become her world.
She knew she wasn’t very important even though they all coveted her gold.
The sex was easy, she was losing everything, they captured her unborn children.
She knew better, needed and wanted to be somewhere else, or someone…
Recklessly confused and falling.